You probably know someone who's full of themselves. They steer every conversation back to their own story. They have trouble taking feedback. After a while, being around them is exhausting.
But look closer, and there's often something else underneath: neediness. The person who seems most full of themselves is frequently the one who feels most empty.
That contrast sits at the center of one of the best-known passages in the Bible.
"Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." (Philippians 2:5–8)
Why is it so hard to stop thinking about ourselves?
Even our good deeds come with a little voice that says look at me. Nate admitted that after washing the dishes without being asked, he stood in the kitchen waiting for his wife to notice. She didn't. When he pointed it out, she rolled her eyes.
The Bible connects that voice to sin: the pull to make everything about us. Paul has just told this church to "count others more significant than yourselves" and to look to "the interests of others" (Philippians 2:3–4). Then he points to Jesus as the clearest picture of what that looks like.
What does it mean that Jesus "emptied himself"?
Many scholars think Philippians 2:5–11 began as an early song or poem. It tells us who Jesus is, but it's also about how to live.
To feel its weight, remember who Paul is describing. In another letter he writes that Jesus "is the image of the invisible God… For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth… and in him all things hold together" (Colossians 1:15–17).
No one has ever had more right to be full of himself. And yet:
He didn't hold on to his power. When Jesus was arrested and one of his followers drew a sword, Jesus told him to put it away: "Do you think that I cannot appeal to my Father, and he will at once send me more than twelve legions of angels?" (Matthew 26:53).
He took the role of a servant. An old Christmas hymn puts it this way: "Lo, within a manger lies / He who built the starry skies."
He forgave the people killing him. From the cross he prayed, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34).
As the hymn writer Charles Wesley put it, "'Tis mystery all: th'Immortal dies."
Why would God do that?
Jesus didn't go to the cross by accident. In the week he died, he said, "Now is my soul troubled. And what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? But for this purpose I have come to this hour. Father, glorify your name" (John 12:27–28).
He also said that if you want to know what God is like, look at him: "Whoever has seen me has seen the Father" (John 14:9). And what we see is love: "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life" (John 3:16).
That love has no limit. Some people are convinced they're the exception, that what they've done is too much for God to forgive. Nate pointed out that this is actually another way of being full of yourself: believing you're better at sinning than God is at saving. You aren't.
How do you get a mind like Jesus'?
Paul doesn't say, "Try to think like Jesus if you get around to it." He says, "Have this mind." So how?
Nate offered a principle: it's often easier to act your way into a new way of thinking than to think your way into a new way of acting.
The Bible links the two. "Present your bodies as a living sacrifice… Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind" (Romans 12:1–2). What you do with your body and what happens in your mind are connected.
Real change takes three things working together:
Thinking: knowing what's right
Wanting: actually desiring to do it
Doing: following through
Plenty of good intentions never turn into action because the wanting never changes. Pastor and author Steve Cuss describes this as the difference between beliefs we hold in our heads and deeper beliefs that hold us, the ones we react from without thinking.
Think about the gym. Reading about fitness might inspire you for a day. But at 5 a.m., with a warm bed, information rarely wins. What wins is having gone before and remembering how good it felt afterward. Each time you act, the wanting grows, until eventually you crave the thing that's good for you.
What does "work out your salvation" mean?
Paul continues:
"Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure." (Philippians 2:12–13)
This isn't about earning salvation. It's about living out what you've already been given. And here's the remarkable part: you work it out, and God works in. The word Paul uses for God working in you is related to our word "energy." When you take a step of obedience, God supplies the power you didn't have.
Philosopher Dallas Willard described a disciple as an apprentice of Jesus: someone learning to live their own life the way Jesus would live it if he were in their place.
Corrie ten Boom found this out firsthand. She and her sister Betsie were sent to the Ravensbrück concentration camp for hiding Jewish people during World War II, and Betsie died there. In 1947, after Corrie spoke at a church in Munich about forgiveness, one of the former camp guards came up to her, thanked her for the message, and held out his hand. She later wrote that she couldn't forgive him on her own, so she asked Jesus to give her his forgiveness. As she took the man's hand, she discovered that when God tells us to love our enemies, he gives the love along with the command.
Jesus promised the same thing: "If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever" (John 14:15–16).
What difference does it make?
The passage ends with what happened after Jesus emptied himself: "Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow… and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father" (Philippians 2:9–11).
Jesus could empty himself because he trusted his Father completely. That's the key for us, too. Self-centeredness grows best in insecurity: the need to prove yourself, the restless search for approval. Security in who God is gives you the courage to be humble. "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble… Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you" (James 4:6, 8). Psalm 136 repeats one line twenty-six times: "His steadfast love endures forever."
When you act on that trust, it shows. Paul says to "do all things without grumbling or disputing," so that people "shine as lights in the world" (Philippians 2:14–15). Serving someone while complaining about it is still being full of yourself. Serving gladly is a light in a dark place.
That light shines brightest when life is darkest. Writing from prison, Paul said that even if his life were "poured out as a drink offering," he would be glad and rejoice (Philippians 2:17). He wasn't afraid to die, because he knew death wasn't the end.
Nate put the contrast plainly: death without God is an abyss. Death with God is hope.
Life Application
This week, pick one act of service you've been putting off, especially one you don't feel like doing. Do it anyway, without complaining, and ask God to supply what you don't have.
Questions for reflection:
Where do you notice the "look at me" voice in your own life?
Is there something you believe in your head that hasn't made it into how you live?
What's one thing you could do this week, even before you feel like it?
Is there someone you need God's help to forgive?
If you faced death today, what would your hope rest on?
Adapted from a sermon by Nate Bush, Lead Pastor of New City Church, part of our series Defiant Joy.
